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So originally, this blog was for school assignments in my PR class. Now that thats over, I might as well keep writing when I feel compelled!
If you have read any of my last blogs, you know I attend Central Washington University. With that being said, ITS FINALS WEEK AND IM SO STRESSED OUT! I know what you’re thinking, “Colleen, if you’re so stressed out, why are you blogging?”. WELL that is a great question. This is such a stress relief for me. When I broke up with my ex (together for 4 years), the only way I could make it through a day without losing my mind was by writing.
I don’t even know if anyone actually reads this blog, but regardless, Ill write! Im not big on writing for classes. I never really understood how to take a ton of information then spit it out in my own words. That always felt strange to me. Free writing is what I enjoy. So if my grammar isn’t up to par, I apologize but Im not really too worried about it 🙂
I don’t want to be incentive to anybody because this is purely speculation. I think I might have some form of anxiety. I have minor “freak outs” from time to time, around once a month maybe. My heart races, I can’t breathe, and its hard to snap out of it without help from a person I trust to talk me down.
Today, after hours of study, a freak out started to happen. I can feel it before it really hits. I quickly took some anti anxiety pills that my mom gave me (only because I am away from my doctor to get an appointment for help and away from my mom to help bring me down). I grabbed my keys and headed for the car. The walk from my dorm to my car is roughly a fifth of a mile. I sobbed the whole way there!! What is up with that?!?!
I kicked on the engine and headed towards the neighborhoods around Ellensburg. When my eldest brother and I were young, we would drive around our neighborhood for fun. That kind of helps bring me down in itself. The next thing I did was play my favorite singer on the radio as loud as it could go. Her name is Halsey. Her voice and lyrics are another thing that really ground me and calm me down.
20 minutes later, I found myself on a viewpoint next to a water tower. The view was spectacular! Playing Sorry by Halsey and centering my breathing helped the tears subside. I wasn’t truly calm yet. I enjoyed the piano in the song and tried to relax. Eventually, I calmed enough to drive back to my dorm.
I am writing to you about two hours later. Thinking back, I have no idea why my freak out happened. I was stressed about school but that is literally nothing new in my life. It seems like one little thing sets off an avalanche of emotions from me and I don’t understand.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Im sure you’ll be hearing from me soon as this is my new outlet in life!!!
This past week at Central Washington University the Bateman case study team held a mental health awareness week. As this is my first year at this university, seeing that mental health is a priority to the students and staff it makes me even more proud to be a wildcat. I chose to go to the event held on Thursday in the SURC pit called Feel Good. During this event, there was a large board that students and passers by could write on. People were encouraged to write what they do to take care of their bodies, both physically and mentally.
I was poorly educated on mental health throughout high school. During the awareness week, I learned small tips to maintain my mental health, which I never got before. The Bateman team did a really great job making learning about a rough subject fun! They were very welcoming to talk to people and listen to what they had to say. Mental health is not just getting enough sleep but making sure you are generally happy with your life. It was great to hear other students share what they do to keep themselves healthy. Whether it was taking a shower, or a nap, everyone has their own way of decompressing after a stressful day or week.
When I see students writing things on the board, that I myself do to compress, made me feel more connected to them and the school. The Bateman team did an awesome job, though it may not have been their intent, creating a bond with all the students that were participating. It was a great experience!
My whole life my parents instilled in my brain that after high school, I would attend college. There was really no choice in the matter, which I appreciate now. I know a lot of people who weren’t steered in that direction.
I’ve always been a homebody and the thought of going away to college never settled well with me. I was the kid who never spent the night at other friends houses, they always came to mine. And if I did go to their house, I would never make it the whole night without my mom picking me up halfway through. The same even went for my aunt’s and grandma’s houses. I just like to be home, thats where I’m comfortable.
I attended Bellevue College for two years in high school doing running start. I was pretty comfortable with the classes and the environment which I know helped my journey to Central tremendously. But the thought of moving away from the west side of Washington, to the center of the state, really freaked me out.
What I was never told, was that it is completely okay to not miss home. Everyone just assumed that it would be difficult for me to leave home. As my fourth month here at Central Washington University just rolled around, I can honestly say that this is my new home. I left Bellevue feeling tentative and afraid. As soon as I got here, my troubles vanished.
I really believe that it’s important to tell kids like me that leaving home can be fun and exciting! Going away to college has been one of the most liberating times I’ve ever experienced in my 19 short years.