So originally, this blog was for school assignments in my PR class. Now that thats over, I might as well keep writing when I feel compelled!
If you have read any of my last blogs, you know I attend Central Washington University. With that being said, ITS FINALS WEEK AND IM SO STRESSED OUT! I know what you’re thinking, “Colleen, if you’re so stressed out, why are you blogging?”. WELL that is a great question. This is such a stress relief for me. When I broke up with my ex (together for 4 years), the only way I could make it through a day without losing my mind was by writing.
I don’t even know if anyone actually reads this blog, but regardless, Ill write! Im not big on writing for classes. I never really understood how to take a ton of information then spit it out in my own words. That always felt strange to me. Free writing is what I enjoy. So if my grammar isn’t up to par, I apologize but Im not really too worried about it 🙂
I don’t want to be incentive to anybody because this is purely speculation. I think I might have some form of anxiety. I have minor “freak outs” from time to time, around once a month maybe. My heart races, I can’t breathe, and its hard to snap out of it without help from a person I trust to talk me down.
Today, after hours of study, a freak out started to happen. I can feel it before it really hits. I quickly took some anti anxiety pills that my mom gave me (only because I am away from my doctor to get an appointment for help and away from my mom to help bring me down). I grabbed my keys and headed for the car. The walk from my dorm to my car is roughly a fifth of a mile. I sobbed the whole way there!! What is up with that?!?!
I kicked on the engine and headed towards the neighborhoods around Ellensburg. When my eldest brother and I were young, we would drive around our neighborhood for fun. That kind of helps bring me down in itself. The next thing I did was play my favorite singer on the radio as loud as it could go. Her name is Halsey. Her voice and lyrics are another thing that really ground me and calm me down.
20 minutes later, I found myself on a viewpoint next to a water tower. The view was spectacular! Playing Sorry by Halsey and centering my breathing helped the tears subside. I wasn’t truly calm yet. I enjoyed the piano in the song and tried to relax. Eventually, I calmed enough to drive back to my dorm.
I am writing to you about two hours later. Thinking back, I have no idea why my freak out happened. I was stressed about school but that is literally nothing new in my life. It seems like one little thing sets off an avalanche of emotions from me and I don’t understand.
Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Im sure you’ll be hearing from me soon as this is my new outlet in life!!!